Almost Thanksgiving

I hadn't gone back and reread all the early posts from those scary days before today. It seems almost unbelievable that I am that same person and those things happened to my family. Something has changed in the dynamic of how we all relate to each other, and it is so much better now than it was before. Even Brian and I are more understanding of each other, which is wonderful! Sky's caseworker seems more involved and communicative, Skyler is slowly allowing us into his life, and we are all cautiously moving forward very very slowly. I am glad that I am not where I was 8 months ago when he left our house, because I have enjoyed the weekend visits, and Liam loves getting to see his brother. I still wish things hadn't gotten screwed up with the Austin center, but the Ranch is a really great place too, even if it does mean 5+ hours in the car for 45 minutes of therapy, I think it's working. I have a tour at work, maybe I will write more later.

An update and a tip!

Hi! It's been forever, and not because there has been nothing to report! Before I dive into the update, I just learned the best tip for cleaning those little pots called Dutch Ovens. If you happen to make some onion soup, then turn the heat up WAY too high, go outside and talk to your neighbor for 30 minutes and come back to "caramelized" onions, you don't want to have to clean that up! But, I learned, after WEEKS of scrubbing the pot, to put water and a tablespoon or so of baking soda in the pot on the stove. Boil it for a few minutes then while it's boiling use a wooden spoon. It worked like magic. My mom's La Creuset is saved!
On to the next thing...
We have been continuing our visits with Skyler and actually upping them to a couple times a month, which has been time consuming, as he lives 2.5 hours away. But I think about the fact that he has never had anyone (not getting paid) willing to do anything for him before, so it makes it easier. He has had some set backs. His birth mother passed away, and that has been a huge hurtle for him to overcome. But he has had some really great days too. We saw him a few weeks ago and he was at ease, joking around with us, and smiling, and we have never seen that before. Unfortunately it didn't stick, and he went pretty dramatically the other direction very soon after that. But, we are holding onto that good day, because it could mean there are more ahead. I have been thinking and thinking about what will help him. Living in such a situation as he did, and suffering from PTSD, not much really fazes him on a surface level. Whatever happens, he has seen it before, or worse, so it's really hard to get through to him. We have changed his location, his care givers, gone with positive reinforcement, held bottom lines, and so far nothing is the magic formula. The only thing that I know to be a positive is that he has said many times that no one has ever cared about him like we (his family) does. So, my hope is that if that really resonates with him he may be OK. I am nearing the "tough love" point of our journey now. Rather than not tell him all the awesome things we are doing while he is away not trying very hard, I want to show him pictures of what his life could be like with just a little effort on his part. But, I stop because it just seems mean; like dangling this whole life in front of him that he feels he will never quite fit into. So, right now, we are at a loss. We will see him December 5th and were just with him last week, and hopefully one day he sees that we keep our promises and he is OK and can start trying a little bit harder to come home.