A good rule of thumb/ A dieting secret

Over the past couple/few years I have lost just over 40 pounds. I know, it's taken a looooong time and instant gratification is way better, but it's still gone, and it used to be there, so that's pretty good. Lately people have either started noticing or I have been telling more people, but everyone asks how I have been doing it. I think people are expecting some crazy thing, like I work out 3 hours a day, I don't eat carbs, and I sacrifice a goat weekly to the Olsen Jolie gods. But no, really, the way I have been doing it is by asking myself one very simple question. Every time I want to eat something I think, has anyone ever said "I would be so thin if it weren't for ______" and insert the food I am about to eat. Or similarly, has anyone ever said "I used to be thin but eating _________ made me fat." If what I am about to eat fits in the blank, I don't eat it, or I only eat a bite/handful/spoonful of it. No one has ever said "I would be thin, except I eat a big ole bowl of steamed veggies EVERY night." Or. "Man, if it weren't for that extra glass of water, I would be a size 6." See, if you ask yourself that every time you eat, you may not decide against eating whatever it is at that time, but you will have made yourself actively aware that you are eating some crap that is going to make your scale inch in the wrong direction. Pretty simple! If you think eating a bowl of cheerios for breakfast has ever been someone's downfall, or that eating an apple was what brought on the new pant size, then you are clearly not paying attention and asking yourself that question every time you eat something. The other day I got a PB cookie from work, asked the question, answered with a HELL YES, so I bought a banana too and skipped eating the soup and 1/2 sandwich for lunch. So, it's not like I don't eat awesome delicious crap from time to time, but when I ask that question it makes me think and balance things better. So, there you go, in case you want to lose weight and are not looking for a quick fix, that has been working for me, maybe it will work for you too!

The feeling of feelings

I feel like we all go through our days and lives pretty complacently, then something comes along and rocks us for a bit, changes us, makes us consider things we haven't previously considered. Then, slowly over time, it happens again. I wonder if it's the same human response that doesn't allow you to remember exactly how physical pain feels. You can remember something hurt (like a tattoo), but not how it hurt (like having a baby) so over time the memory becomes less meaningful and you will do it again (maybe like walking over hot coals?). Maybe that's the same with death. For a while, months, weeks, years even, it is fresh, you are dumbfounded, there is no dealing with the absolute, you can't prepare for it, I personally can not wrap my head around it. But time passes, life regains balance, (although a little wonkier) and you move on. Or just keep swimming at least. And then, you are sad, but you remember things about the person that make you laugh, and you remember that it hurt, but you don't remember exactly how it hurt, and you live on and make friends, have relationships, let yourself love, even though the hurt can come again. I think if we always remembered how much it hurt we would never love anyone or anything again, because it wouldn't be worth it. It's funny (not really) but I wanted to tell a silly story in this blog, but here we are. So, graceless segway... Where I work we have this nifty system where you can call and reserve a book, or reserve it online and we have it waiting for you at the register. Apparently, some class had a book on it's reading requirement that we had a couple of copies of today. So, 2 people with very similar names requested the same book. Who ever took the order only tagged one of them to come up to the register. The first person came, picked up his book and left. The second person came, said "Um, I reserved a book, do I pick it up here?" To which I said, "You sure do! What's your name?" So he told me, and GASP, no book. So, I asked him to spell his name, thinking my hearing was off. He spelled it, and GASP AGAIN, no book. So, I asked him for his phone number. Pulled up the order and saw that it said someone brought the book up, but did not. "Not to worry (I thought internally, but perhaps should have vocalized) we have more upstairs in Psych." At the moment when I was going to tell him I would grab it and be right back, this young man says, "I can't believe you don't have my book waiting here, this is a tragedy." A TRAGEDY. To which I responded, unprofessionally, but COME ON, "No, sir, this is a minor inconvenience over a book, it is certainly not a tragedy, wait here and I will get your book from the shelf." He looked appropriately chagrinned, but it stayed with me and made me think about my own phrasing. "Tragedy, kill myself, I would rather die, kill me now, despair, hopeless". Strike them from your vocabulary unless you are serious, so we can know that it's time to help you. And I will strive to do the same! Words have definitions, they mean something. Not having a book, even if it led to failing a test/class/college, is not a tragedy. You can bounce back from anything as long as you stay alive! The pain fades, it's science. Rest easy, Jessica.

My kid is getting OLD

Today has had it's ups and downs FOR SURE! I woke up and within 5 minutes I knocked my phone off the bathroom counter and even though it landed on it's back the glass totally shattered! Gorilla glass my gorilla ass. After that devastating turn of events I went to work where I spend an hour doing a riveting training program about workplace harassment. Super fun. I also trained a newish cashier for an hour, which was actually fun, not sarcastic fun, I like that part of my job almost the most. Go figure, since I was going to become a consultant/trainer before working at BN. AND, I cleaned the accounting office and made it more my own and organized. I am sure the other folks who use it will be confused for a day or 2, but they will live! I like it way more this way, and really, that is the most important thing. But, onto why you are reading this, LIAM!!!! As you will remember from 45 seconds ago, my phone screen broke into a zillion shards and spiderwebs this morning. Good old Apple requires appointments to do anything, and those appointments are done, you guessed it, on line. Well, my means of onlinedness were hampered, but the phone still worked, so I called Liam for help. Turns out I called the right person because he googled genius bar, found the Barton Creek location, and made me an online appointment! Just like a grown up growny pants. After that I picked him up so he could take a trip to the mall with me, and he asked if we could buy him a wallet. Gasp! A wallet, for his money, and his discount cards, and all his other, I am not a baby things. A wallet so he can go out with his friends or cousins and pay for things. A wallet just like I have, or you probably have! We struck out at the mall and went to Game Over Videogames to find one. In the parking lot there I went to get his hand becuase a car was coming, but he pulled his not so little hand away. He didn't say anything, ut it was clear he was too big. Too big to hold my hand, big enough to have things to put in a wallet and make genius reservations for me while home ALONE (with an adult next door who happens to be his uncle and 2 dogs in the room with him, but still.) When did this happen? It was a big day for me! I am not sure Liam understood the bigness, but one day maybe he will have his own little guy turn big overnight. My own mom never got over the "I'm too big to hold your hand" day and forced it, well, to this very day. But I am as OK with it as I can be. He's growing up. It's why we have kids, right? So one day they will go into the world, armed with wallets and the ability to make reservations to fix things. It's just startling when it happens all in one day!