An idea that I have

A lot of people that I know have kits in their cars that include water bottles, dog food, cereal bars, things like that for the ever growing homeless population in Austin. And maybe an organization already exists like this, but I had an idea to create a non profit organization that worked on a simple level but could perhaps become bigger if resources allowed. It would brand a bag that had it's name and information on it that could be reused or recycled, and the bag could contain different things depending on who the recipient is or what part of town they were currently residing in. There could be one for the regular homeless population with a bottle of water, a banana, a cereal bar, some nuts, information about that part of towns service programs, maybe a blanket in the winter or a pair of socks, etc. For pregnant women extra information about free prenatal services in that part of town, a couple pre natal vitamins, and food with extra folic acid. For people with dogs, extra water, dog food and a frisbee or something to use as a dish and a toy. It would only include information about places within a few miles of where that particular homeless grouping is, since they may not travel very far, and the places would be researched to ensure they had the resources and were indeed open. It would not be hugely expensive, and the people getting the kits to give out would not have to do anything extra, just hand them through their car window on their way to work. It would probably not create lasting change, but could certainly alleviate immediate need, and maybe give a few people some options. Plus, everything going into a bag may help with littering...but maybe not. Anyway, it's just an idea that I had, and I am interested in hearing people's thoughts on the matter!

A good rule of thumb/ A dieting secret

Over the past couple/few years I have lost just over 40 pounds. I know, it's taken a looooong time and instant gratification is way better, but it's still gone, and it used to be there, so that's pretty good. Lately people have either started noticing or I have been telling more people, but everyone asks how I have been doing it. I think people are expecting some crazy thing, like I work out 3 hours a day, I don't eat carbs, and I sacrifice a goat weekly to the Olsen Jolie gods. But no, really, the way I have been doing it is by asking myself one very simple question. Every time I want to eat something I think, has anyone ever said "I would be so thin if it weren't for ______" and insert the food I am about to eat. Or similarly, has anyone ever said "I used to be thin but eating _________ made me fat." If what I am about to eat fits in the blank, I don't eat it, or I only eat a bite/handful/spoonful of it. No one has ever said "I would be thin, except I eat a big ole bowl of steamed veggies EVERY night." Or. "Man, if it weren't for that extra glass of water, I would be a size 6." See, if you ask yourself that every time you eat, you may not decide against eating whatever it is at that time, but you will have made yourself actively aware that you are eating some crap that is going to make your scale inch in the wrong direction. Pretty simple! If you think eating a bowl of cheerios for breakfast has ever been someone's downfall, or that eating an apple was what brought on the new pant size, then you are clearly not paying attention and asking yourself that question every time you eat something. The other day I got a PB cookie from work, asked the question, answered with a HELL YES, so I bought a banana too and skipped eating the soup and 1/2 sandwich for lunch. So, it's not like I don't eat awesome delicious crap from time to time, but when I ask that question it makes me think and balance things better. So, there you go, in case you want to lose weight and are not looking for a quick fix, that has been working for me, maybe it will work for you too!

The feeling of feelings

I feel like we all go through our days and lives pretty complacently, then something comes along and rocks us for a bit, changes us, makes us consider things we haven't previously considered. Then, slowly over time, it happens again. I wonder if it's the same human response that doesn't allow you to remember exactly how physical pain feels. You can remember something hurt (like a tattoo), but not how it hurt (like having a baby) so over time the memory becomes less meaningful and you will do it again (maybe like walking over hot coals?). Maybe that's the same with death. For a while, months, weeks, years even, it is fresh, you are dumbfounded, there is no dealing with the absolute, you can't prepare for it, I personally can not wrap my head around it. But time passes, life regains balance, (although a little wonkier) and you move on. Or just keep swimming at least. And then, you are sad, but you remember things about the person that make you laugh, and you remember that it hurt, but you don't remember exactly how it hurt, and you live on and make friends, have relationships, let yourself love, even though the hurt can come again. I think if we always remembered how much it hurt we would never love anyone or anything again, because it wouldn't be worth it. It's funny (not really) but I wanted to tell a silly story in this blog, but here we are. So, graceless segway... Where I work we have this nifty system where you can call and reserve a book, or reserve it online and we have it waiting for you at the register. Apparently, some class had a book on it's reading requirement that we had a couple of copies of today. So, 2 people with very similar names requested the same book. Who ever took the order only tagged one of them to come up to the register. The first person came, picked up his book and left. The second person came, said "Um, I reserved a book, do I pick it up here?" To which I said, "You sure do! What's your name?" So he told me, and GASP, no book. So, I asked him to spell his name, thinking my hearing was off. He spelled it, and GASP AGAIN, no book. So, I asked him for his phone number. Pulled up the order and saw that it said someone brought the book up, but did not. "Not to worry (I thought internally, but perhaps should have vocalized) we have more upstairs in Psych." At the moment when I was going to tell him I would grab it and be right back, this young man says, "I can't believe you don't have my book waiting here, this is a tragedy." A TRAGEDY. To which I responded, unprofessionally, but COME ON, "No, sir, this is a minor inconvenience over a book, it is certainly not a tragedy, wait here and I will get your book from the shelf." He looked appropriately chagrinned, but it stayed with me and made me think about my own phrasing. "Tragedy, kill myself, I would rather die, kill me now, despair, hopeless". Strike them from your vocabulary unless you are serious, so we can know that it's time to help you. And I will strive to do the same! Words have definitions, they mean something. Not having a book, even if it led to failing a test/class/college, is not a tragedy. You can bounce back from anything as long as you stay alive! The pain fades, it's science. Rest easy, Jessica.

My kid is getting OLD

Today has had it's ups and downs FOR SURE! I woke up and within 5 minutes I knocked my phone off the bathroom counter and even though it landed on it's back the glass totally shattered! Gorilla glass my gorilla ass. After that devastating turn of events I went to work where I spend an hour doing a riveting training program about workplace harassment. Super fun. I also trained a newish cashier for an hour, which was actually fun, not sarcastic fun, I like that part of my job almost the most. Go figure, since I was going to become a consultant/trainer before working at BN. AND, I cleaned the accounting office and made it more my own and organized. I am sure the other folks who use it will be confused for a day or 2, but they will live! I like it way more this way, and really, that is the most important thing. But, onto why you are reading this, LIAM!!!! As you will remember from 45 seconds ago, my phone screen broke into a zillion shards and spiderwebs this morning. Good old Apple requires appointments to do anything, and those appointments are done, you guessed it, on line. Well, my means of onlinedness were hampered, but the phone still worked, so I called Liam for help. Turns out I called the right person because he googled genius bar, found the Barton Creek location, and made me an online appointment! Just like a grown up growny pants. After that I picked him up so he could take a trip to the mall with me, and he asked if we could buy him a wallet. Gasp! A wallet, for his money, and his discount cards, and all his other, I am not a baby things. A wallet so he can go out with his friends or cousins and pay for things. A wallet just like I have, or you probably have! We struck out at the mall and went to Game Over Videogames to find one. In the parking lot there I went to get his hand becuase a car was coming, but he pulled his not so little hand away. He didn't say anything, ut it was clear he was too big. Too big to hold my hand, big enough to have things to put in a wallet and make genius reservations for me while home ALONE (with an adult next door who happens to be his uncle and 2 dogs in the room with him, but still.) When did this happen? It was a big day for me! I am not sure Liam understood the bigness, but one day maybe he will have his own little guy turn big overnight. My own mom never got over the "I'm too big to hold your hand" day and forced it, well, to this very day. But I am as OK with it as I can be. He's growing up. It's why we have kids, right? So one day they will go into the world, armed with wallets and the ability to make reservations to fix things. It's just startling when it happens all in one day!

Been a while!!!

Hello! It's been a like a month, I can't believe it! On the upside, I lost 15 pounds during my hiatus. I will take an after (or partially after, still a long way to go) photo in the same white dress when I get motivated to go back upstairs! Besides eating healthy, except for the past few days, I have been working like a crazy person. I never fully appreciated how much all my friends work until I started this crazy 40+ hour a week thing! Once you add drive time it's 50+ hours a week, and then 45 hours for sleeping, leaves you around 70 hours a week to shower, clean, eat, relax, and see your friends and family. I wish I and all my friends were crazy fun multi millionaires! My house has a suspicious smell in it today. Kind of like old food. Which is weird because I took a week off the diet and have not cooked much at all. I should investigate, but I am afraid. Very afraid. So, I am sure you all are aware of all my business and financial woes, but I am not 100% sure where I left off with everything. I met with a lawyer in the past month and we discussed all my options, then I left and Brian and I were a little overwhelmed and downhearted thinking things were getting much worse before they got any better. Lawyers, am I right? Anyway, after a couple nights sleep, and a few phone calls to other people/government agencies/etc, we realized that we can do it ourselves. And even better than that, with projections based on where we are right now, we can be completely out of all debt, except for our home mortgage in 5-6 years. ALL OF IT! Which means, that when Liam is ready for college, all the money we are making except for what we need for bills and the house, will be free to help him, or help us retire, or buy a boat, WHATEVER. AND, we are already putting the plan in action! We have yet to get final approval from the IRS, but I am optimistic they will support the plan, since it involves giving them lots of money. And besides the IRS I have paid off a few bills completely this month, and made large dents in others! Take that people who think democrats want the world to hand them money and solve their problems for them. We decided against bankruptcy in favor of responsibly paying back every penny we owe people as quickly as possible, and we STILL support our left leaning compadres. Boom, Smug self satisfaction say what? WHAT!!!! Happy Sunday! I am off to grocery shop, then work! Every paycheck brings me closer to the dream that one day we will have no credit cards, no IRS debt, and no car payment or student loans. :) In fact, I think we are about 1 month away from 1 credit card being completely paid off and closed! 1 almost down, 4 to go. :) The original Picture:

And the new picture:

Something different

I am listening to some new music that I downloaded just a few minutes ago, and for some reason I have never written with music on, so we will see how it goes. I think I may get too distracted, but I know lots of people in the world can listen to music while doing other things. For me, I get really absorbed in the music, so I can listen to it while I run, or while I am in the car, but that's about it, since I listen to every word and sound. It's very distracting! It's a weird exercise though, because I can't hear my voice in my head while I am typing this. My new work schedule is awesome, i get every Monday and Tuesday off and always open Saturday and close Sunday, which means I can have a Saturday night out if I want one. And it's cool because I have a couple days off in a row to get stuff done. Yesterday was Brian/Julie day, and that was so fun! Brian dropped his car off to get an oil change and fix a factory recall issue, and meanwhile we had adventures. We went down to San Marcos to go hit up some outlets, and that was sort of epic, because I went to the gap and every single thing I tried on fit and looked cute, yay diet! After buying some summer clothes, and a MUCH needed new bathing suit for Liam we dropped my car off at the shop to get the key unstuck from the ignition. (funny story, I have been driving with my key stuck in my ignition for 2 weeks!) After that we went to the Slaughter Lane Alamo Drafthouse and watched Cabin in the Woods which I thought was hilarious. It was definitely a little gross and jumpy scary from time to time, but it was pretty funny and a neat premise. I don't know if you should run out and see it on the big screen, but rent it for sure. (Movie review and blog in one! That's money!) After all of that awesomeness we came home and watched 3 episodes of Downton Abbey. It was like a whole vacation wrapped into one very full day! Today is more of a, running errands and realizing I have 4 hours till Liam gets home and have accomplished very little, kind of day. I am going to the brewery to pay for the rental for Amy's shower, getting the tables, linens, chairs etc rentals out of the way, calling a lawyer, and CLEANING. My house is like a home for wayward dust bunnies lately and everyones allergies are suffering! Quick diet update: 9.1 pounds and I am on day 15. I am burnt out on asparagus, iced tea, zucchini, and now strawberries too, but there are lots of other fruits and veggies out there, so I am hanging in there! And for a glimpse of the randomness of Brian, Liam and my life, a sweet story: The other day, Brian came home after going to the HEB in East Austin with a present for me! I have named her Stella and she now lives in the yard!

A life of no more home visits

I feel like I already posted this, but can't find it anywhere, so I must have just talked about it, CRAZY notion. The day before we left to go to Odessa for Easter we finally got a call from Sky's FAD worker. After a year of her refusing to return any of our calls because she misunderstood that when we said it didn't seem like he was ever going to come home, we didn't mean we never wanted him to come home, she finally realized we just meant based on where he has been it seemed unlikely. So, she finally called back and of course blamed our FAD worker on the miscommunication, and who knows where the truth really lies. Either way, some good things developed from the phone call. We got an update on him, which was disheartening, although his FAD worker seemed to think it was hilarious. He has basically become a product of the system, using frequent suicide threats to get out of class work, bed time, a tough roommate situation, what have you. He has made friends with the nurses at the psych hospital and loves to go there, in fact time before last that he was there he hugged the nurses and said "see you soon" and indeed threatened suicide 3 days later to return for what he thinks of as a 72 hour vacation. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to understand the big picture, that he is a teenager now, and the odds of him aging out and being on his own in 5 years with no coping skills are pretty great. And it seems as if no one is really trying to drill that point home. Otherwise, he seems to be getting along with people fairly well, and still hating school. So, in the 2 years since he left, nothing has changed, except that his bi annual trip to the hospital has been upped to at least every 6 weeks. But they aren't worried, they think he has no intention of committing suicide, despite the fact that he has actually attempted it before...I tell ya, I have so little faith in our childcare system. A couple of positive things did come of the phone call and the actions that followed it. We have been granted similar rights to a biological parent. We can't check him out and take him home, but can talk to him whenever we want, visit, send gifts, and call and get updates. Another VERY good thing is that our case has been closed until such a time as it might be likely for him to come home. He can even come for visits if he is deemed ready. So that means no more home visits, fridge inspections, limits on pools, or keeping his room at a constant and depressing state of ready. Not all good news for sure, but nothing new, and way less stress, so it's a mixed bag for sure. Anyway, that's the update, and if anyone wants to send him a card or anything I am happy to send it along for you, just email me for my address, julieconnally@gmail.com.

I put a lot on my "plate" this week!

I put Plate in quotes, because I am on a diet and have not put a lot on any physical plates for a week now. But the metaphorical plate is pretty full! I started my new job yesterday, and while it is certainly a job title often held by high school seniors and freshmen drop outs, I am still pretty happy about it. Also, I feel like Barnes and Noble is pretty wicked awesome about hiring smarties! (Yup, I counted myself as a smartie despite the use of pretty wicked awesome.) I love the Barnes and Noble true life training, wherein they give you a store tour and say GO. And you go or you don't, but you are weeded out pretty quickly. I feel like I went. With no training at Sunset, very little at Arbor, and a quick, "call if you need me." I was set adrift in the wild world of head cashiering. In my first 5 minutes I had 2 returns and a cash pickup, and within the first hour we had a VERY angry but definitely misunderstood gentlemen. However, I learned by minute 30 that this would definitely be a job I could do well. Despite the MUCH higher volume of grumplestilskins who shop there versus my alma mater, Sunset Valley, there is room to be myself and maybe to motivate people a little bit. But, I was hungry and that was no bueno, but brings me to another thing I have on my mysterious food withholding plate! This diet is Rawesome. In fact, I like it so much that the next 33 days should continue to be no problem for me. But, it's a big change, and with it comes weird weird mood swings, headaches and waves of hunger that can only be squashed with a banana or some baby carrots sunbathing in guac. Apparently mushy is my new cheese! New diet, new job, that is a lot to do at the same time. And it wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't also said no no no to alcohol. But, I figured, raw food, not so much as soaking up the booze! So, now my social life is a little hazy (and not the good boozy hazy that leads to the inevitable hangover), because I am wanting to be sure my resolve is strong before venturing into the world. I have to say, all this change is a good thing. I am down 6.7 pounds now, I love (so far) my new position, my new fellow employees seem nice and not scary like I was told. So, lots going on, but it's all good. On a sort of related side note, someone I follow on Twitter and who's blog I read made an innocuous comment the other day about how he had been sick for weeks, but the silver lining was that he had lost 10 pounds. People of the world jumped down his throat because he was being insensitive to the fat community. But my question is, as someone who talks about weight loss a lot, especially while dieting, is, is it insensitive if you are fighting the weight fight yourself? I mean, he and I are both no Olsen twin. Neither are we morbidly obese, but we both have struggled the better part of our life against genetics and for me a total lack of self control when it comes to cheese and pasta. So is a side comment about hey I might feel like shit, but at least I lost a few pounds really that terrible? EDIT: Here is a screenshot of some of the comments from my google plus page.

The results as promised!

So, not to totally brag, but today I have made my own sorbet, smoothies for me and Liam, am in the process of making fruit roll up type things, and sweet potato chips. But, the most impressive thing I have made is the almond milk. It is SO good! And easy! Not cheap though, I honestly think buying the carton might be cheaper, but I have never bought it before and liked it, so I guess the extra 50 cents is worth it. I am pretty excited because I have been really hungry today, since all this crap takes like DAYS of preparation, so I know tomorrow I can actually eat meals all day and not just spend the day getting ready for the future! In fact, I have breakfasts and partial lunches ready for multiple days. BUT, back to the almond milk. First, the day before you think you might be thirsty/bakey/hungry, soak 2 cups of almonds in purified water for 8 hours. Next, drain and rinse them. After that, you mix the almonds with 4 1/2 cups of purified water in a blender for 30 seconds. Strain the pulp from the liquid, store the pulp to make things later, rinse the blender, and put the liquid back in. Then add agave or some other sweetener, 2 tablespoons or so, and a teaspoon or 2 of vanilla. Mix it all up, and wah la. Done and delicious! Good to have for 5 days in your fridge. Here are the photos!

This is all of it getting strained.

And all of it ready for the fridge! Yay!

A money saving tip

This is not revolutionary, probably, but I just went to the grocery store and filled my cart with fresh awesome produce, and it was 11.00$. That is 11.00$ to feed myself for 4 delicious meals, Brian for at least 1 and Liam to have snacks. 11.00$ to make juices with, and some type of weird but probably tasty breakfast fruit sushi roll. OK, I did also spend money on a mesh strainer because I didn't previously own one, to make the juice, but I feel like most people have access to such a device, or to a cheesecloth at least. So, if you are worried about stretching those dollars, might I suggest seasonal, local, fresh, fruits and veggies? Pounds of the stuff will only set you back a few dollars. Also, if you need your car inspected, and live in the Austin area, I suggest the jiffy lube on Brodie lane, it only took a few minutes, and they were kind enough to check for any potential pitfalls before they started, so in case I would have failed I could just come back later and not have to pay. That's TWO money saving tips! AND, they gave me a free H2O car wash voucher with the service. THREE!!! If I think about it, I will come back and put up a picture of my almond milk after I finish it, I hope it is gonna be tasty! I am using the pulp for some bread type thing too, I think. So far, raw vegan diet is going very well! I am loving the flavors and already losing weight!

Yes she is on another crazy diet!

Anyone reading this who knows me personally knows that about once a year I embark on a crazy will power meets total lack of common sense diet for anywhere from 10 days to a month. Well, this year, I am at it again. The goal is always detoxing and weight loss, and this year I am going less extreme, in that it's not the lemonade diet, but more extreme in that it's gonna last 40 days! What? But lent just ended. If you refer back to posts you will see this is a little of , MAN, I ate/drank/acted like a crazy person over Easter weekend, and a little of me putting my money where my mouth is. So, today is day 2, and thus far I am alive and not hating life. Here's to 39 more! And the cray cray diet of the year is (drumroll please.........) raw, vegan. And now the reasoning behind it. (Like a crazy person needs a reason except to say my mother always called me fat.) But here is the other reason. I have been vegetarian for 4 years, and go vegan from time to time because I have en egg allergy anyway, don't drink much milk, so it's only cheese, and that is not unreasonably hard. Raw is partially because I don't want to cook all the time, and partially because my friend is dieting with me and she is allergic to gluten, so raw helps with all that. Now, I am not a total crazy person, yes there will be no alcohol or candy or cookies for 40 days, but I am maintaining the right to eat 20% non raw gluten free things every day, and decided that I can live without beer, but not without coffee and tea, so caffeine stays too! I know you are all rightly thinking, just eat less and exercise, and you would all be right. But, I like my annual spring diets, and do always manage to keep off at least 10 of the pounds I lose from them each year. Plus, it's gotta be good for the local economy, I am buying a LOT of produce! If anyone is interested in what one might eat on a raw vegan diet, hit me up, and I also will be putting tasty dinners up on pinterest. I should have taken a picture of dinner last night to put up, but instead I will do a before and after of myself and we can all see if there is a difference!!!

A moment of clarity, maybe don't read this one either.

I have been working a lot on my book lately, and I guess it's not making the transition from memoir to fiction imitating life because I don't want it to. But, I had this breakthrough while writing, which was really cool. A moment of clarity when I was like, Whoa, that's what happened! I am sure of this, because I was told, but my sister and I were little chains that forced my mom to stay in a loveless marriage with a person she despised. She told me with her actions when I was child, and with very clear words when I was in my late teens or early twenties. While you would think it would be TOTALLY obvious, it clearly wasn't...but I think that's the reason for all the nutty things I do. I really want people to love me. I think that is why Sky came into our life, why the school did, and why I am constantly surrounding myself with friends and real family who has supported me and loved me my whole adult life. So, for you guys, the ones who have supported me in this unwavering manner, thank you, and sorry if I didn't fully recognize how crazy important you are to me! And to Liam, I love you, and I will never regret you. Of course, you were not the product of a loveless marriage, but a too in love relationship! Anyway, recognizing anything about oneself is weird, and this is super weird. I am so glad I am a friendly, outgoing person, but wonder if that's who I would have become under different circumstances. Also, I think my GIANT ego, is because I pretty much had to inflate it myself for so long, and apparently, I am damn good at that!!!! I should use my abilities for good and inflate everyone else's too. Ready? You are sooooo pretty! You have an amazing voice. You kick ass at life, your job, and your home! You are a superstar! Feel better? You should, because all those things are true! Now, I am off to rinse the dye from my hair, because I started going gray at 19, and now I am starting to think I know why!!! ;)

Seriously, this will offend you, don't read it.

I have a few pet peeves to air today. As a non religious person myself, I really don't care what religious people do for their holidays or whatnot. However, it bugs me to no end the new trend other non's have of giving stuff up for lent. Guys, lenten sacrifices are supposed to be akin to the 40 days spent in the desert, also they are supposed to be done for the glory of god, and also as some weird guilt thing to make yourself feel better that your savior died on the cross for you. (I know I am non religious, but I was raised a weird blend of devout Catholic and heretic cult.) SO, for you non's to give stuff up for lent, is ridiculous. The most common reason I have found for it is "I want to test myself for 40 days and it's an easy one because the calender marks it for you." Do you all not have a calendar? Anyone who needs me to mark 40 days for you, let me know, and I will buy you a calendar and mark out 40 days for you to "test yourself." I get a discount, I work in a bookstore. Now, I am NOT speaking here to actual practicing Catholics or Christians, more power to you, give up or add on things as you will. (Also, I have tons of respect for Christians who add things, like working at a soup kitchen, or who organize clothing drives or even Easter egg hunts for under privileged churches, rather than using lent as a 40 day excuse to diet in Jesus' name. Jesus probably does not care. So, for me, I am going on a 40 day vegan cleanse starting on Tuesday, because I have a damn calendar and feel like testing myself. Now, some of my friends will take offense to this, and you probably should know my now how I feel about this whole situation, so relax. It's not like I haven't rolled my eyes at you every year before this. BUT, I am not without a solution. All my awesome friends, next year, let's all pick a month that is not March and work out whatever addiction issues we feel we might have together, not while the religious right gets smug satisfaction that a holiday that started with a celebration to the goddess of fertility has ended in a neo hipster group of wanna be Christians sacrificing shit just in case they are alcoholics or addicted to bread. Then, the last day we can all get together and have a giant party and hunt for pocket shots and dairy products and steak. Or whatever you decide to give up. I am not unreasonable. I think lent is fine for people who spend at least 10 other days a year thinking specifically about the Christian god, but for the rest of us, let's branch out and pick another 40 days! Since I didn't present this idea in time this year, to my weirdly non religious lenten sacrificers, good luck, and I'll bet you are all looking forward to midnight this Saturday night, and way to go if you accomplished whatever you set out to do. Actually, I guess that goes out to be religious friends as well! As for me, I am enjoying Easter as if it is my Mardi Gras, because Tuesday the healthy food and working out begin again! Oh, so it was just the one pet peeve, not several! I had something else I had really wanted to talk about, but forgot it when something reminded me of this other annoyance. And remember, before you all get mad at me, I am pretty open about my being weirdly judgmental when I don't like something, and you have all known this for 1-33 years, depending on how long you have known me. It doesn't mean I don't love you, or that I am actually wasting emotion being mad at you. HAHAHA, I am 33 at Easter. Maybe I should have given something up this year, you know, just in case! My initials are JC after all. ;)

More things I love about Austin

My dad spent a whopping 30 hours in Austin this weekend, and we made him do touristy things. He did not want to. He wanted to stay in the AC because 84 degrees was too hot to be outside! Reason 10,000,456,754,356 I will never move to Boston, BTW. But we made him, and he at least pretended to be impressed by the basement in the capitol. Didn't seem to care much about the rotunda or the actual upper floors, but the basement seemed amazing. Who knows. Anyway, I love Austin, especially in the spring, even though it kills me. The reason I love it in the spring is that we are not privy to a great many obvious seasons here. But when the weather gods permit, every few years, we get spring. The bright green, damp, colorful spring that makes you feel more alive, (although also closer to death, stupid pollen). This year, we have been extra lucky to get a spring that has lasted more than the regular 5-7 days, and we are all determined to experience it! Since my 100th post promise I am trying to be better about putting pictures up, so here are some of the family forcing tourism and experiencing the gorgeous Austin springtime. So here are the kids and my dad walking up Congress:

And here is Liam pretending to shoot Kayla with a cannon while she gracefully dives out of the way. Can you sense the fear?

And here is Liam with my dad, and the last picture is all the kids in front of the Driskill Hotel.

Don't you love the bright clothing and all that sunshine? I know I do!!! Also, note the awesome pictures taken courtesy of my new phone! Thanks, Dad!!!!

Springtime!

I spent many hours today getting ready for Easter weekend in Odessa with my family. We hit every store in Sunset Valley and once again I spent my paycheck at Barnes and Noble. They really know what they are doing when they give out those employee discounts! But all the running around, shopping, gift bagging, etc was totally worthwhile because spring is in full swing in Austin. The bluebonnets are out, trees are green, rivers are flowing, grass is growing. It's so completely different from last spring, when we barely had flowers and were already in a dangerous place with the drought. Thank goodness that even though we are still in a stage 2 water ban, and the lake is still 38 feet down, things are green and every morning the grass is wet with dew. In case you are skeptical after seeing the disaster of last year, I have proof.

Looking back and forward and present

I just went back and reread a lot of my posts since I started it a couple of years ago, and I have to say WOW. The person who wrote them, who clearly is not me, is very witty and strong. Whoever that person is has been through a lot and deserves a nice easy few years and a lot of consideration. In fact, her whole family does. Unfortunately, with a court date for Miss Julie's landlady looming ahead in May, it doesn't seem like things will calm down any time soon. Maybe I will get a book deal, or a lifetime movie, or a lifetime series out of the whole fiasco that has been 2007-present. Is it weird that when I had the preschool I would refer to the business owner version of me as Miss Julie, and looking back on the blog I almost can't identify with the me who has experienced and endured so much? I don't feel like I am disjointed on a regular basis, and I don't feel like I am disingenuous while writing this...so how do I explain it? Maybe the me that lives my life every day has to stay in it all the time, no matter what, so it's easier to separate all the crap from the routine. Also, if I blogged, "played on G+, spent too much time on twitter, and read some blogs today." every day, that would be lame, right? And, if I had to just sit around and dwell on all the crap I have put my family through these past years, I wouldn't be able to live with myself! At least, I am once again reminded that I am REALLY lucky to have such an understanding family. And looking forward, I hope I can capture some type of normal, predictable, mom/wife type of thing to make up for it all. I am thinking of some vacation time this summer, reconnecting with friends, relaxing, and embracing the fact that I am no longer 23, so I should not try to drink like I am! For tonight, I am going to Wingo, hoping to win, and celebrating the fact that even though I have a college degree, ran my own business for 4 1/2 years, and am a grown ass grown up, I am happy with a promotion in retail, and despite all the financial disarray, I am pretty content with my life right now.

Springtime in Austin

While I am a fortunate one who does not suffer the winter allergies of the bursting cedar trees, or the mold, I am a springtime killer girl, and have not been a happy camper lately! I think all my feelings of mopeyness and dread have actually been just been my brain realizing the allergies were closing in before my body started going down! It's official... Me and the pollen are fighting a battle royale and I am pretty sure the pollen is going to win. Using Brian's Claratin today, but the pollen is just laughing menacingly at me and swatting away the tiny pills feeble attempts. As soon as I can muster it, I am going out in search of the big guns... prescription allegra! What's up now, pollen? Yeah, you best tremble before my mighty allergy destroyer. OK, so maybe the Claratin makes me crazy, but it doesn't make the itching stop! Besides the deadly yellow crap coating my car, my lungs, my window sills, and my dogs, I get to work 3 days this week, so that is awesome news. I haven't heard from Mareid (she is the manager of the Arbor store) and am wondering if I should call her and let her know from me I am interested. I don't want to be pushy, but kinda I don't care how I come across as long as it's clear I really want the promotion and will rock it's socks off. All right, maybe I have not been fair to poor Claratin, it does try hard, and I am quickly starting to feel better enough to score some of the good shit! ;)

Not a damn thing!

I don't know if it's the post SXSW depression or what, but I am definitely feeling sort of melancholy. Yesterday I had this feeling like I was going to get bad news all day, and I never did, (definitely not psychic.) Then today I have just been feeling a little ick. Maybe it's the fact that I have been cleaning my house for the past 2 days and it really doesn't look any different, except in my bedroom. Should I become a messier person so cleaning will have a greater visual impact? Either way, I am tired too, but that's my own fault. I got sucked into this incredible book about the journey a family goes on when they find out their daughter has a brain malformation that renders her unable to talk. It definitely got me thinking about my own Skyler even more too. The book is called Schuyler's Monster, btw, and here's a link to the author's blog. I totally recommend it, and I don't know that I have ever recommended a book on here before. I have been working on my childhood cult story still, but so far it's just like in a memoir style, and I really want to figure out how to create a me character and tell it as more of a novel. I think the idea of a little girl facing so much strangeness could be compelling, but thus far, it's just a sort of bitchy memoir that would certainly make my mom disown me! I might put a little of it up at some point soon so you can see what I mean. I have also learned the incredible life skill of crotchet. Well, relearned. I learned it when I was young, as we had no TV to entertain us, or windows to look out. See, super weird, right? BUT, the horsemen never got me, so HA, jokes on you all, the closed shades worked! ;) All right, I got nothing today. Hope you are all doing great. Anyone in the area want to stop over for a beer and save me from more laundry, I am always down. In the meantime, check out that book. I think it appealed to my childcare background more than anything, but found myself thinking of all different life experiences while reading it, so it definitely has mass appeal. If you are interested in reading about my crazy childhood, message me and I will try and find a suitable paragraph that won't totally change the way you look at me! Or maybe it will... Just noticed the link didn't post. Weird, so here's the non blue link, ad if you feel so compelled, I guess you can cut and paste. http://www.schuylersmonsterblog.com/

Tired out

I could totally nap right now, but I am working up to going for a run. I had an interesting morning today, I had a job interview. I have had phone interviews to get to the face to face thing, but being on the other side of the desk was funny. I kept catching myself leaning back and accidentally controlling the conversation, and noticing that the other 2 ladies interviewing me were leaning forward and looking nervous a couple of times. I guess you can take the job away from the boss, but you can't take the boss out of the Julie! Hopefully they didn't notice it and just thought I was self assured or something! Since I promised you more pictures, I took a picture of my interview nails and me after the interview. :) Meanwhile, I have been picking up a couple much appreciated and loved shifts at Barnes and Noble, have I mentioned how fun that job is? It's so fun. I have also been bridesmaid dress shopping, which has prompted a rekindling of running. Stupid dress sizes being WRONG! It's so bad for self esteem to try on a 12 and not even be close to able to close it, when your pants are 14 and are falling off they are way too big! Does wonders for self esteem I tell you! But, I am back in the saddle, but not literally, horses are huge and scare me a lot. Beyond that, I have not accomplished very much at all, but am sort of slow and steady with life right now. I think I am officially past the part in life where I can claim to be "regrouping" from Miss Julie's, and just need to get done and and get on, and a new full time, well paying, great benefits, scrubs wearing position would be just the thing to finalize that in my brain! So, think happy thoughts of gainful and long term employment for me, and I will let you all know when I do if I get the job. At the very least, I have had some obviously much needed interview practice and can work on seeming more humble and like more of an employee/team player than a boss/intimidator. But, gosh, I just love being intimidating! :) Anyway, without further ado, here are my fingernails.

And here is me! Hello!

Happy Monday, I hope you all have an excellent week! Also, I need to brush up on my Spanish this week, so feel free to call me and just speak spanish to me! :) Adios, muchachos.

My 100th blog

I feel like it should be something monumental important, the 100th blog. I had the sobering realization that if you divide the number of page views by 100, only 17.5 people read this thing, so thank you to you, but with 18 followers, one of you is NOT pulling your weight and I expect better in the future! I am not surprised, since I don't offer tips or advice or pictures, but I would have pictures, I just lost the connection thingy for my camera, and can't afford a new one, plus my camera is broken. Once I get a new camera one day, or my new iphone in July it will be much more photographic. In the meantime, my table is finished, and I think I have a very old school way of getting a crappy cell phone picture up, so here it is!!! Yay the beautiful finished table!!!

Oh, and while I have the crappy cell picutres uploading anyway, here is what Brian got for Valentine's day! We decided not to spend much money, but I still think it's pretty awesome!

So there you have it, 100 blogs, some pictures, and if anyone wants to know how I made such a gorgeous table, it was as easy as sanding it, primering the crap out of it, then painting it! The grate is spray primer then blue spray paint! But, be ware. If you don't sand it REALLY well, you will need like 8 coats of primer! FYI, tonight is WINGO, you should all come, it's always epic. Thank you to my 17.5 loyal viewers, and yes, I realize that being off Facebook is what killed that, since I was up to like 30 for a while, but it's still worth it to not be doing all that! :) Cheers to the freakin weekend, and another 100 blogs.

Day 4, finishing something

I am like the last work somebody starts before dying an untimely death. You know, the album that never gets finished, the sonnet or Opera, or movie, or sentence I guess if it was a very untimely death! But today I am going to complete at least one project! Besides reading another 200 page children's book. (Gregor the Overlander=awesome! Make your kids read it!) I started cleaning my room again, it REALLY needs to be done. But before I get too far in that, I am finally going to finish the damn coffee table! Maybe finishing something will give me a kick in the pants to attack more meaningful things like bankruptcy. I did write another couple paragraphs of my book yesterday, but at this rate I will be done in 2025. And it won't make any sense... But anyway, I slept too late again, like 10:30, then read that awesome book, cleaned 1/2 my room, and am ready to get my paint on! Nikki and Randy will be here tomorrow, so I really want the table to be done and my house to look respectable! In similar news, if anyone has a maid they want to lend me as a 1/2 birthday gift, I would not say no, my house is DIRTY! Plan of attack: A coat of actual paint, not more primer, finally on the table. Clean the downstairs, finish my room, and think about my bathroom and closet. The closet is scary! Really scary. And that's sad since I have the most amazing closet in the history of closets, with 100 shoe cubbies, a great little built in dresser, cubbie holes for my jewelry boxes, and crap covering it all up. So yesterday I was getting my hair cut and Steph, my beloved hair stylist and friend asked if I was depressed. Maybe it was my gross clothes and lack of makeup, (It's hard to find thigs in my messy closet) but it made me wonder if I might be. Not like, quick get her to a hospital or feed her drugs, depressed, but I wonder if all this willful inactivity is really a lack of willingness to move forward. Depression, fear, apathy...who knows. I do know that I once again find myself feeling all alone, and am spending lots more time in my room and asleep, never a good sign. I should get out into this cloudy day and shake myself up a bit. Jobs don't have to define people. I could be the person with the super clean house and fabulous body from having 5 hours a day to exercise after the house is clean. OK, that's depressing!!! I think I am hesitant to do things because, why bother, I can just do them tomorrow, after all, I will be here. Yesterday I went out and went bowling with Amy's fiancee, and that was so fun! I won the first game and lost the second and third, but even that made me realize it was his day off, all I have is days off. I was not created to be a stay at home person, I need the world to roam around in or I feel closed in and awful, but maybe if I identify myself as one for now it will give me some focus. 9-3 is lots of time for cleaning and exercise. I think I will call my friend Madeline and see about some volunteer work, out in the world once my house is clean! What am I supposed to be doing right now? Oh yes, painting, cleaning, and getting ready for 4 days with my awesome and super duper loved sister, Nikki! In order to do that, I have to finish the table, which means stepping away from the computer. :)

New day, new ideas

Day 3 of the "vacation" and I am getting my hair recut, didn't like the trim I got at Ulta, so now that Stephanie is back I am heading to her expert care! Yesterday I took my another bridesmaid in Amy's wedding to check out the brewery for the shower, and I am happy to say she liked it! This has totally inspired my party planning love. Frances (the other bridesmaid), Amy (the bride), and Chris (the groom) all said I should use my time away to pursue that dream. It's funny how life works. My entire life I have wanted to be one of two things, a wedding and events planner or a pop star. I know, right? That's so perfect for me! Obviously, the pop star route has flaws, but I wonder at why I started a pre school, and have had so many other jobs rather than pursue the event planning. I wonder if some dreams are too dear to fail. I mean, when I lived in Tyler I did a few small events, but nothing like what lives in my head. Would it ruin me too much to fail at it? Is that why I have crowded my head and life with a zillion other things that are interesting and safe? Or, is the event planning just a longer term sign language class or book? Something that I am just not great at following through? I wonder if I am jaded from the school or just lack focus? Either way, I am loving planning this party, and can't wait for some funds to come into the picture so I can really zero in on what I think would create the perfect night for Amy and Chris. (And maybe the perfect launch to Events by Julie ((insert a more clever name in the comments please!))) I don't really know about a parenthesis inside a parenthesis, sorry if I did that wrong. College was a long time ago. Off to get pretty hair!

Monday: Day two of "Vacation"

Yesterday was day one of vacation, but it was spent in typical weekend fashion, hanging out and singing Karaoke, so I will begin my less exciting adventures today. I slept until 11:45, jealous? After that, Brian made tostadas, and I watched the Grammy's while finishing my 941's for the IRS. Then, I put another coat of paint on my coffee table that is now more primer than table, but the damn stain is still bleeding through a tiny bit. After that, Liam came home from school, I made him blonde brownies, and watched The Simpsons. Pretty full and exciting day, huh? The best part is still to come when I go to the South Austin Brewing Company with Waldo and Frances, and then to El Mercado with Amy, Frances and Waldo. We are narrowing the list for engagement party venues. Tomorrow I have pretty hair with Stephanie, and hopefully to go back to the eye doctor because my new glasses are giving me daily headaches like a knife to the eye, resulting in incredible nausea and overwhelming sleepiness. I have GOT to find my old pair for now, since this is no way to live. Oh, backing up, if anyone was wondering, I sang Wilson Phillips at karaoke, and Amy sang Celine Dion, and literally made someone cry with her awesome voice. Seriously, literally, there were tears, she nailed it that well! She also sang some other stuff, Hall and Oats and something else I can't remember. Now that I have some expensive time, (because let's face it, unemployment is not free) I should start to tackle all the stuff on my list. At least every quarterly report ever has been filed for Miss Julie's, so that's a big done stamp. My delaying the inevitable with the stupid bankruptcy has to stop too, but I am going to recruit Brian to help me with some phone calls I think, so I don't feel so alone in it. Also, I still really want to take some sign language classes, so that should happen during this bout of extra time. I guess the first step is to start waking up by like 9:30, and go from there! Maybe tomorrow...Maybe not! Oh, and in case this is a familiar scenario to anyone out there reading this, QUIT IT. I went to a bar yesterday with Amy and she was driving to her house where my car was and then I was driving home, so while we had an awesome time, we had to have sober awesome time. The other 45 people in the bar had crazy drunk fun time, and it seemed like 40 of them drove away. So, again, dummies of the world, you can A. Have fun not drinking B. Have fun drinking with a sober friend C. Have fun drinking with drunk friends and take cabs D. Have fun with your friends at your house or their house, and carpool or sleep over. The option of E. Slurring through karaoke then getting into your car and driving away, should not be a real option. Seriously, it's not that hard or expensive! In fact, option A is the cheapest, since water is free and soda is usually less than beer. That's my 2 cents on that one. I love to drink, you know this, but the older I get the more annoyed I become! On that note, after Saturday's fail, then yesterday's driving, and tonight's driving, I will be ready for some cabs this weekend, because you know I am ready for some vodka tonics!

"Vacation"

So, my time has not so abruptly ended at B and N for now. I am pretty bummed about it, since I was not emotionally anywhere near needing a vacation. I felt like B and N was kind of a vacation after all the stress of my previous situation. But, I can focus on Amy's awesome shower, writing more, and getting the training thing going for some extra money. Plus, how can I be upset when NIKKI is coming in just a few days and now I have the whole time they will be here off work! And my dad is coming on Saturday, and hopefully he won't be too disappointed in his 33 year old who is unemployed and still in some debt. Either way, 4 days of brunches, dinners, bowling, and of course some garaging will be amazing. I think I am a little more sad to not be going to B and N than I was when my school closed. I think it's not so much that I loved the job, but that I loved having a job, especially one I was pretty good at. I learned a lot about myself and my work ethic, and while I am VERY vain, it actually gave me some self esteem that I guess I needed. Hahaha, while typing this, I got a call from work asking if I would mind staying on call so I could pick up some extra hours here and there if needed. Hopefully, they will be needed. I do need to focus on finding a long term full time situation, but maybe this will pan out to be something like that while I am looking elsewhere. Plus, Amy's shower and all the ideas and plans I am making have totally rekindled my love of even planning, so I might pursue a part time thing in that arena too. I can't tell if it's exciting or depressing to be so unset and unfocused at not such a young age...today I guess I will go with excited and say the hell with it! Plus, I get an AMY day and Karaoke today, 2 of my favorite things! Oh, and to all you Austin people, PLUCKERS, South Lamar, Thursday at 10, WINGO is back! Be there!

Barnes and Noble Bride

It occurred to me last night that my position with B and N is much like Westley's character when his ship is over taken by the Dread Pirate Roberts. Good work, sleep well, I'll most likely fire you in the morning. Even still, it's been fun, and hopefully will continue to be fun for a long while. It's taking a lot of smiling and keeping my mouth closed at this point to not screw it up and just get myself taken off the schedule, but I keep reminding myself that it's fun, and I love it, and was never hired on with any guarantee. In fact, it's crazy that I am still there now, since Christmas was over a month ago! In related news, if anyone wants to buy a Nook this week, you should definitely call me! I work under the assumption that if I continue to dominate, I will continue to have a job, we will see how sound that reasoning is. Also, relatedly, if anyone is hiring for a permanent sales person, I might know a girl. ;)It's really cool that this experience has taught me that I am great at selling things, so I feel like no matter what, being a good salesperson is a very marketable skill. Oh, something else I learned, not having to do with Barnes and Noble, is that I have a great head, like a mannequin. Not sure how to market that, but it got me free hair color and lots of complements on my great head today! I feel like it's a good one. Right now it's super red and sassy, thank you, free coloring! As if I needed any more encouragement to be vain, free hair coloring!!! And I was also a great model, so might continue to receive free hair color every time a class comes up. Thanks, Redkin and Ulta for recognizing my awesomely fine hair, chemical damage and need for gray coverage. Apparently that makes me a great candidate for beauty school practice! It's like every problem in one. Either way, I LOVE the color and am super happy with it. I feel like it's been such a great January, I don't really even know where to start. I love my job, I am having fun on days I am not at work, I am so much less stressed than I have been in years, I have an awesome bridesmaid dress for Amy's wedding, I have adorable, free hair, new glasses, discovered cheap makeup that works better than smash box, and feel like I look 5 years younger than I did 2 months ago. I can't believe it's been over 2 months since the school closed, and I am sad that not every teacher has found a new job yet, so send them good thoughts of employment, please! But, I am happy that my w-2's are done, and I am slowly getting closer and closer to that whole thing being finished and just a traumatic blip on the radar. I am totally optimistic that the next 11 months will continue to be healing, interesting and fun, but if not, at least I have had some much needed time to regroup and return to my former self. I missed me, and didn't even know I was gone. The other day Liam came up and hugged me, and I asked what the hug was for, and he said "It's just nice that you are happy. I am glad you aren't crying any more." I guess I didn't do a very good job putting up a brave face, but how sweet is he for noticing and caring? Best. Kid. Ever. As for all of you, I hope 2012, month 1, was great for you, and your lives are full of booze and sunshine. Or whatever makes you tick, I don't judge!

RIP, laptop, soon anyway

My Macbook has been limping along for about 2 years now. It tried to die once and we brought it back to life, and now it just works when it wants to, but mostly it naps. I am sure you have noticed my lack of blogging, it is because it is too cold downstairs, even on warm days, to spend as much time needed to bust a blog out! So far, if I am being honest with you all, 2012 has rocked my world. I managed to hang onto my seasonal job at Barnes and Noble and have enjoyed every minute spent there. I work with some really fun people, and use my past job experiences to not let the less than awesome moments or people bother me at all! Hopefully it will become a long term thing instead of seasonal, but I will cross that bridge in the next few weeks. Other ways that 2012 have rocked are that I have taken steps to make my life manageable. Which is AMAZING. I am always standing in my own way, always taking too long to do things, or waiting until it's too late to fix a problem. 2012 I have managed to save lawyer money, to write to a judge, to talk to a lawyer, to get all my parent statements wrapped up for Miss Julie's, and today I am doing w-2's. Gone is the depressed and indecisive girl of 2011, and back is the full of hope and optimism girl of 2007! Well, she is older and wiser now, but that is a good thing too. I am off work today, it's been 8 days since I had a day off, and I have so many great plans for it! New shower curtain and bath mat, Office supplies, iPad and keyboard, W-2's, and a home facial are my jumping off point! Who knows where the day may take me from there. Not to a margarita though, that's the old Julie, the new Julie has too much to accomplish and has learned that she has too much to live for to hide away from the world! Now that it is mid January, Happy 2012! I hope you all have a wonderful journey this year too!