In the spirit of solidarity...my life is also kind of sucktastick right now.

So, my friend Dwija recently wrote a couple blogs about her frustrations and also her hope while going through a less than ideal time financially. I admired her bravery, and decided that I would join her super cool band wagon. Although, she manages to say things without sounding like she is complaining, and I don't really possess that gift! Anyway, everyone who knows and loves me, and doesn't just know me professionally or PTAally knows that things have not be ideal, but I melted down today after the teeniest little setback just seemed like a mountain of crap. Generally, the melt down means it is time to put it out there and get over it. So that is what I am doing. I am not even sure where to start, but I guess I will say that the worst parts are not being able to buy groceries with debit, and actually using a credit card today, also, knowing that I am letting down people I really love by not being able to fix everything, and even more because while they are starting to feel stressed, I am starting to breathe, and the feeling of being totally and completely stuck in metaphorical cement, (or Ceement for you Texans). After that, I am pretty mad about my car being in the shop for 3 months, and costing us 1000$ to fix. The plus side of that one has been getting to hang out with Brian a whole lot more, the down side has been making Liam come with me to pick him up from work sometimes at 9:45 on a school night, and not being able to socialize as much, due to all the driving (that's probably a plus and a minus!!) I am grateful and annoyed that Liam has no clue how tough things are and still treats his things like crap and asks for more all the time, but he's a kid and is spending this fine afternoon cleaning as soon as he gets home from school! Also, I feel pretty crappy for melting down because of a car, or buying groceries on credit. I mean, we have another car, and we have plenty of credit. Our bills are paid, our friends are awesome, we are happy and healthy, what is WRONG with me?!?!?! As I look around the house, which needs to be cleaned but we lost the maids over a year ago and I don't like cleaning, I know what the problems are, and they don't have immediate solutions. I can't have more money right now, I can't have my car back right now, I can't wave a magic wand and have a decent landlady, I can't poof the past 4 years away and wake up to a thriving career for myself and Brian, and it sucks. I made all the choices and went down all the roads that led me right to where I am. So, now I have to make the most of the Louisiana style highway I am on right now, and work toward finding an exit onto a brand new toll road with fewer bumps and cleaner rest areas! And if anyone has ever had the desire to be a maid, and just needs practice before getting into it, we are here for you!