A moment of clarity, maybe don't read this one either.

I have been working a lot on my book lately, and I guess it's not making the transition from memoir to fiction imitating life because I don't want it to. But, I had this breakthrough while writing, which was really cool. A moment of clarity when I was like, Whoa, that's what happened! I am sure of this, because I was told, but my sister and I were little chains that forced my mom to stay in a loveless marriage with a person she despised. She told me with her actions when I was child, and with very clear words when I was in my late teens or early twenties. While you would think it would be TOTALLY obvious, it clearly wasn't...but I think that's the reason for all the nutty things I do. I really want people to love me. I think that is why Sky came into our life, why the school did, and why I am constantly surrounding myself with friends and real family who has supported me and loved me my whole adult life. So, for you guys, the ones who have supported me in this unwavering manner, thank you, and sorry if I didn't fully recognize how crazy important you are to me! And to Liam, I love you, and I will never regret you. Of course, you were not the product of a loveless marriage, but a too in love relationship! Anyway, recognizing anything about oneself is weird, and this is super weird. I am so glad I am a friendly, outgoing person, but wonder if that's who I would have become under different circumstances. Also, I think my GIANT ego, is because I pretty much had to inflate it myself for so long, and apparently, I am damn good at that!!!! I should use my abilities for good and inflate everyone else's too. Ready? You are sooooo pretty! You have an amazing voice. You kick ass at life, your job, and your home! You are a superstar! Feel better? You should, because all those things are true! Now, I am off to rinse the dye from my hair, because I started going gray at 19, and now I am starting to think I know why!!! ;)