The feeling of feelings

I feel like we all go through our days and lives pretty complacently, then something comes along and rocks us for a bit, changes us, makes us consider things we haven't previously considered. Then, slowly over time, it happens again. I wonder if it's the same human response that doesn't allow you to remember exactly how physical pain feels. You can remember something hurt (like a tattoo), but not how it hurt (like having a baby) so over time the memory becomes less meaningful and you will do it again (maybe like walking over hot coals?). Maybe that's the same with death. For a while, months, weeks, years even, it is fresh, you are dumbfounded, there is no dealing with the absolute, you can't prepare for it, I personally can not wrap my head around it. But time passes, life regains balance, (although a little wonkier) and you move on. Or just keep swimming at least. And then, you are sad, but you remember things about the person that make you laugh, and you remember that it hurt, but you don't remember exactly how it hurt, and you live on and make friends, have relationships, let yourself love, even though the hurt can come again. I think if we always remembered how much it hurt we would never love anyone or anything again, because it wouldn't be worth it. It's funny (not really) but I wanted to tell a silly story in this blog, but here we are. So, graceless segway... Where I work we have this nifty system where you can call and reserve a book, or reserve it online and we have it waiting for you at the register. Apparently, some class had a book on it's reading requirement that we had a couple of copies of today. So, 2 people with very similar names requested the same book. Who ever took the order only tagged one of them to come up to the register. The first person came, picked up his book and left. The second person came, said "Um, I reserved a book, do I pick it up here?" To which I said, "You sure do! What's your name?" So he told me, and GASP, no book. So, I asked him to spell his name, thinking my hearing was off. He spelled it, and GASP AGAIN, no book. So, I asked him for his phone number. Pulled up the order and saw that it said someone brought the book up, but did not. "Not to worry (I thought internally, but perhaps should have vocalized) we have more upstairs in Psych." At the moment when I was going to tell him I would grab it and be right back, this young man says, "I can't believe you don't have my book waiting here, this is a tragedy." A TRAGEDY. To which I responded, unprofessionally, but COME ON, "No, sir, this is a minor inconvenience over a book, it is certainly not a tragedy, wait here and I will get your book from the shelf." He looked appropriately chagrinned, but it stayed with me and made me think about my own phrasing. "Tragedy, kill myself, I would rather die, kill me now, despair, hopeless". Strike them from your vocabulary unless you are serious, so we can know that it's time to help you. And I will strive to do the same! Words have definitions, they mean something. Not having a book, even if it led to failing a test/class/college, is not a tragedy. You can bounce back from anything as long as you stay alive! The pain fades, it's science. Rest easy, Jessica.