The long awaited evaluation.

Thank goodness my school got a late start today, because I was planning to go in for a couple hours before the psych evaluation at noon today, but instead I got to sleep.  The dog ate something yesterday which left him puking all night, and I was up with him till around 12:30.  Then, bless his heart, he stopped barking when he needed to puke, so I thought he was done.  Turned out he was just too tired to get up anymore.  But, he made it through the night, puking away, and seems better this morning, although he is much quieter than normal.  We can't figure out what he ate at all, but whatever it was must have been pretty bad. :(   His kennel got cleaned out at 6:30, and  he has been sleeping away with a new blanket ever since.

So, we still haven't heard anything from anyone about where or when Skyler may be leaving to get the help he needs, but we have the evaluation today, so hopefully it will help shed some light on  his behaviors.  My biggest fear though, is that this woman has never met him, or me, and legally has to report abuse or neglect etc, and Skyler is extremely manipulative, so I am really worried that she doesn't see through him and we end up losing Liam anyway, after all we have been doing to protect him.  Hopefully, since she has talked to his therapist, she will be prepared for him, but he has lived with us for 5 months tomorrow, and we still have no idea when he is telling the truth and when he is lying, so someone, even a professional, who has never met him, won't have a prayer.  Even his therapist has been duped by him as recently as last month.  All of you who have kids who have tried to lie to you and you can immediately tell, because they are such honest little people, congratulate yourselves for raising honest children.  Also, if you gave birth to a child, and kept them and didn't emotionally scar them to the point where they are no longer able to distinguish right from wrong, or exist in a society, congratulate yourselves.  Apparently, you are not obligated to finish the job you started with parenthood, and so for everyone out there who  has, or who realizes that kids aren't your cup of tea, so you haven't had any, GOOD JOB!  And if anyone out there who happens to come across this has given birth to a kid, exposed him to untold horrors then retreated into a violent world of drugs and criminals, abandoning your young and fragile child to a life of pain and instability, I seriously hope you get hit by the justice bus.  I know that in class we learned not to judge the biological parents, but REALLY, if you have 1 or 2 or 5 children, take fricken care of them.   Or give them up at the hospital if you already know you are a junkie and a whore.  Don't subject them to your shit for so long that they can never recover.  It's YOUR fault there are kids like Skyler out there, you ruin lives.  My one hope is that wherever his mother is and all the other mothers like her are, they are miserable and sad every day.  That doesn't even begin to make up for doing what she did to a boy who had the same potential as Liam when he was born, but it's a start.  

And on that happy note, I am going to get in the shower and be glad that we can give Liam to the world one day, and he will be a whole and thoughtful man.  It's sad when just keeping your kids and not exposing them to crack is a good thing, but I seriously believe that it is.  I also know you may be thinking that I am a hypocrite because I am saying parents should keep their kids, while I give one of mine up, but here's where I had to realize that I gave birth to Liam.  I set him up to be happy and successful, then I brought a boy into his house who takes away his potential to be complete and emotionally sound.   My responsibility lies the strongest with the child I introduced to the world from birth.  The one I protected for the 8 months I was pregnant, and had protected the 7 years after that.  Then, I allowed this other child into my home because some organization said he would be fine with us, and I put myself into the same category as the crack whores, putting my biological child into dangerous situations and allowing him to experience horrors that no child should have to see.  Well, no more.  I will not allow a child born to me to be raised broken.  If that is the only thing I can accomplish, I still think I will have accomplished something wonderful.  

So today, go hug your kids, and hug yourselves for being their parents and ensuring that one day they will leave home and achieve something beyond jail!