Saturday morning and all the creatures are stirring.

Good Morning!  I have been up for a little while pondering the events of yesterday and debating on what my plan of action needs to be.   Both my children's bedroom doors need replacing.  Liam's won't stay shut unless it's locked from the inside, so the cats keep sneaking in getting hair every where.  Skyler's "broke" last night.  I have to check the books and make sure it's OK for him to not have a door for a while.

Yesterday I mentioned something which made me think of the unrealistic expectations people have.  And since then I have been thinking about it.  As a child, no one says "when I grow up I want to by middle management", or "when I grow up I want to live in a small house and drive an old car".  But the reality is that will be the fate of many people, and actually, those are the lucky ones!  But it's good to have somewhat unrealistic expectations as a child, because it gives you the drive to at least accomplish middle management.  Imagine if you started out wanting to be mediocre, you would end up homeless!  I feel like as adults, we still cling to that idea of things being picture perfect, and I believe adoption is just like that.  We have in our heads that we will welcome a sweet but slightly troubled child in our homes, and our love will be enough that almost immediately the floodgates will open, we will cry together, then live as a big happy family.  Obviously the classes tell us that is not going to be the case, but we are human, we have a soft focus on our internal reflection cameras, and we all think we will be the exception.  Then, when we realize we are indeed the rule, it becomes surprising.  But how can it be that we are surprised?  And not just we, Brian and I, we everyone I have ever spoken to.  I guess the point of this is, if you are planning adoption, be prepared.  It's fun, and there are differences that come out over time, but that exception does not exist.  Your child will not come home, immediately realize how sweet he now has it and blend into your family.  You have to be prepared to blend your family to meet him part way too.  Once everyone gives and takes and gives and gives then you start to become a new family, but we aren't quite to that point yet, and I think it could be years before it really feels normal again. In the meantime, every day is a new adventure, and we are learning so much about ourselves.

I am off to be with a friend today, send your good thoughts and prayers (if that is your cup of tea) to Tiffany and her family.